It’s a lovely Friday, 26 Sept 2008. I’m in a guest room of HMS Nelson Wardroom of my accommodation having a day MC. My eyes are so BANGKONG and swollen and my visions are not very clear. I put on Yassin on air so I could hear from my headset.
Nabilah rang me yesterday afternoon 1414H UK time when I was having a quick nap hiding myself next to my Piano so that I wouldn’t be seen by instructors. I was shocked when she said “Bang Redzky, Ngah Amit meninggal!” My mum sister, Dyg Kartine bte Hj Md Arshad passed away in Ripas Hospital. Didn’t say much but just nodded and put down the phone as if I could go right away to visit her. I sat down blank speechless and burst into tears for few minutes. My grieve responded abruptly and I just couldn’t believe what I heard. Then Mum and Santi sms me the same news.
Grabbed my Al Quran from my bag and started reciting Yassin for her on my chair in tears. I didn’t know what to do.
I sped off back to my cabin as I needed to top up my phone. Cycled to town and rang Mum. She was on her way to Brunei from Pontianak with Dad, Nona and Auntie Masnah. And they would be back Friday night. Ya Allah, they would miss for her burial. I lost Mum then rang BB. She was in grieve greatly and couldn’t speak properly. She just got back from Ripas Hospital and had just arrived home at Salambigar with my late Auntie. It was 10pm Brunei time on Friday night my late Auntie’s body lay on the living room with family and friends around her reciting Yassin. I cried talking to BB where I stood behind shopping area in town.
Everything seemed to recall everything on her memories before I left UK. I was not on the right mood few days back and my Cornet didn’t seem to sound properly and I even looked through her photos from my laptop which I took from Hari Raya in 2006. She suffered from Cancer since then and had an operation in KL and was in and out of Ripas because there was a complication in her body after the operation. Lately before I left, her condition became worse and she wouldn’t eat as she lost her appetite and she suffered from suffocation most of her time. I remembered a month ago when there was a makan2 at home, she came by but was having her rest in Nona’s room and ended up Nona massaging her. Then on purposely she requested to stay few nights in her parent’s house which are my Grandparents behind.
That was one of the last moment we actually talked deeply with each other. I came by to visit her as she lay down coiling up on bed exhaustedly. I was with Nabilah at that time and I sat next to her on bed. She complained that she had suffocated more frequently lately and I could imagine the pain she went through. I reassured her to recite ZIKIR and being positive and advised her to consume some food. It was so sad on her last moment as if she knew she would be leaving us the she stayed in her parents house for few days to say goodbye apparently. Deep in my heart I knew it would eventually happen because she wouldn’t eat anything. We talked for quite a long time. I mentioned that I have started praying and has changed me gradually and told her good stories. Suddenly she said she wanted to memorise Yassin and I was surprised. "Ngangah kan menghafalkan Yassin bah Boi..." I couldn’t believe what I heard. I love to hear what she said. I encouraged her that she would be able to memorise piece by piece. I would never forget that moment forever and whatever her niat, semoga Allah menerima amalannya and mengampunkan dosanya, Amin.
Ya Allah.. my tears wouldn’t stop flowing even when I am typing right now. I just couldn’t believe this happened and leaving her beloved loyal husband, Pg Supry and her children, Iskandar, Mas, , Puteh, a girl, Nurul and Rafi.
I was still in the room with her when she said my Mum has been very nice to her… “Boi.. baik tu Mama mu ah, kan ku kanang tu and jua adi beradiku.. Ngah Supri pun baik menjaga kediaku sama familinya...” Rawan hati ku mendangar when she said that. We cried together in that room. Ya Allah give me strength to type to share my sweet memories with her to family and friends out there… I don’t want others to see me crying now as I am in a public room in which anybody could just bump in to use the room for internet as well and further more it’s lunch time now.
Alright, lets continue….She even asked for forgiveness from me. “Boi, maafkan Ngangah ah…” And I asked for forgiveness to from her. She mentioned that one of her children, Rafi ever prayed next to her and bedoa in tears for her mum’s health to be recovered as before. She said “Kesian c Rafi ah ia bedoa smbil menangis2 supaya Babu jangan tinggal kan kedia”.
Nabilah was quite moody that she had to wait for me for so long and in the car I told her, “Nabilah, iatah masa nya tani bejumpa sama Ngah Amit, sedih ku tadi and kami bedua betangisan. Ngah amit kan ngafalkan Yassin yatah rawan hati ku” Then straight and changed direction, I drove to Huaho Manggis with Nabilah to buy a surprise for Ngah Amit. I bought her a CD player so that she could listen to Yassin and start memorising it as she had always wanted. It was like an urgent matter that I needed to get as I wanted to leave to UK for 2 years. Once paid, drove back to Salambigar and happily I gave her that CD player with CD Yassin. Unfortunately my CD Yassin couldn’t read. I felt good passing her that CD player and few days later I bought her that CD Yassin and gave her in her house in Rimba. It was raining heavily that night when I passed that CD. I climbed up the 3 stories house to her room. There she was laying with her beloved Husband, Ngah Supry next to each other so lovingly. I didn’t want to show my real emotion to her and has always wanted to show positive reaction. I could have cried seeing her but I didn’t stay long. “Terima Kasih Boi ah, mudah mudahan ko selamat.”
On the D day of my departure to UK, Mum advised me to call Ngah Amit. I did when I was about to board the Aircraft. I called c Mas, then she passed it to her Mum. “Boi, sorry ah, Ngangah inda dapat ngantar…. Ok tu Ngah, doa2 kan ku saja ah…” That was the last moment I talked to her on my departure on the 5th Sept 2008.
Last night, I cried and cried while cycling in a cold weather to the Mosque for Tarawih. I kept saying, “mana kita Ngah? Insyaalah I would keep you always in my prayers.. “ as I imagine her body laid in the living room last night.
I woke up at 3am and it was 10am in Brunei and BB told me that her body was buried at Salambigar Cemetary. Alhamduliallah it’s done. I cried again while reciting Yassin then I prayed Tahajud and Tasbih. After Sahur, I recited Alquran till morning. Slowly I watched clear sky and then sun slowly emerging.
Ya Allah, ampunilah dosanya, terima amalannya, tempatkan ia bersama orang2 beriman dan semoga rohnya dicucuri rahmat Amin….Sesungguhnya aku merasa terharu pemergiannya di Malam Jummat di bulan Ramadhan.
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